Anger fills the house of Donna Richards. Her anger is hardly a secret to those that live in her house or to those that work in her office. Even her son’s dog is acquainted with the tendency. The anger rarely ever does any real harm, except perhaps to lose a sale or two at work, or perhaps produce a cool atmosphere around the TV or dinner table. Most that know Donna accept the anger within her as part of the package, just a minor flaw that was part of sharing friendship with a genuinely caring woman. After all, nobody’s perfect, and many of her companions found friendship with her to be a marvelous method of building patience within them selves. The dog just knows when to get out of the way. 

Donna’s husband was a patient man to begin with, and years of such a marriage had taught him which buttons to push and when, and his survival instinct took over and kept him from being baited into too many fights. His name is Ben. He wished his wife had a bit more control. “Wish” is often not the right word for such a desire. However, in this case I think it works well, as it is a midpoint that can express both “hope” and “regret.”

At one point last summer, Donna’s anger began to be more focused on their oldest child, a teenager named Kyle. As fate would have it, Kyle is a stubborn child. When this combination of people, (along with two younger siblings and a poor, poor dog) live in the same house, the following story almost tells itself, but for fun and introspection, let’s go a little further so that we may feel the sin in all its un-glory. As a reminder, it will be helpful to try to see and feel the story from the perspective of each of the three people to which you have been introduced. 

Nobody remembers exactly what the first fight was about, how the war started. One night a fight erupted about Kyle being late, or not cleaning his room, or something. Instead of giving in, he fought back and for the next few months the nights could be divided into two parts: the waiting for the fight, and the fight itself. Some nights they just snapped at each other, but increasingly they were full-scale yelling matches, ended only by doors slammed, or someone leaving the house. 

Outside, everyone lives their lives pretty much the same as ever, but they all dread going home. Anger fills the house of Donna Richards. Anger fills the house of Kyle Richards. Ben Richards lives in a house full of anger. 

So that brings us to tonight. Tonight, Kyle was out with some friends, but had to come back for a jacket. He told his friends to wait in the car, then he runs into the house to grab what he needs. Donna snaps at him about his grades when he comes in, but he just goes past her to his room to get a jacket out of the closet. This infuriates her even further, and she follows him to his room, where the fight truly begins. She accuses him of being irresponsible, and asks why he can’t just put some effort into his work. She says he can’t go out, and that he has to stay home to study. He laughs and tells her that she can’t make him and she’s welcome to try if she wants. This pushes the right button, and she explodes. As he turns around the hall corner into the living room, she yells, “You are such a disappointment. You have never done anything but let us down!” And she sees that he has stopped. Thinking she has finally pushed the right button, but knowing she doesn’t really mean it, she says, “Sometimes I don’t even know…” But she’s stopped as she comes into the room, because there, standing at the front door, are two of Kyle’s friends, and a girl who has a tear in her eye. They all look embarrassed. One of the boys opens the front door, and they slide out. Kyle turns around and says, “You don’t even know what?” 

Silence.

He repeats, “You don’t even know what, Mom?” She hangs her head, and bites her lip. He says, “You know, there are a lot of things I don’t know, mom. I don’t know why you hate me so much, I don’t know why you are so angry all the time, or why you don’t yell at the others like you yell at me. What I do know is this: I will never, ever forgive you for the way you treated me tonight. You are so selfish.” And with that, he turned and walked out the door, leaving it open. 

Donna watched him walk down the sidewalk, and watched him open the car door, get in, and shut the door. She watched the car drive away. She turned, and saw her husband standing in the door to the kitchen. 

SCRIPTURAL POINTS OF LIGHT

Psalm 4; Psalm 37; Psalm 55 (maybe the best of the psalms); Proverbs 15:1, 21:13-15, 29:11, 30:33; Amos 1:11-12; Matthew 5:21-23, 6:11-15, 18:20-36; Mark 3:5 (This is the only time the gospels specifically attribute the emotion anger to Jesus), 11:24-26; Luke 6:36-38, 17:1-9; I Corinthians 13; Ephesians 4:26-27; Colossians 3:13; James 1:19-21