When John married Amy, he was really struggling to make ends meet financially. Neither one, however, was bothered all that much by their struggle; they had both come from families of more meager means. They were accustomed to living a life without extravagance or luxury, and both John and Amy seemed prepared to make responsible and wise decisions in order to take care of one another and to provide for the family they hoped to raise some day.

As they began to raise a family, having children really strained their finances. Times were difficult, just as they often are for many young families trying to gain a foothold in life. Still, although John and Amy were concerned, they weren’t discouraged. They seemed poised to have a successful family.

They seemed poised to have a successful family in great part because John was determined to do so. He valued his ability to live up to his responsibilities as caretaker of his family perhaps more than he valued anything else. In order to provide for his family, John was very disciplined with money, and he was always planning for the future, always making sure he was financially prepared to take care of his family.

John also always made sure to teach his family to be disciplined with money, to teach his children the importance of planning ahead. His children learned what the word “frugal” meant at a very young age, and they soon developed a sense of guilt any time they wanted anything that wasn’t “necessary.” They had trouble receiving gifts graciously because John had stressed so much that they shouldn’t expect much more than what they needed.

Eventually, John grew in his career and began to make more and more money. He moved his family from a trailer home to an apartment to a house and finally into a really nice house in a new subdivision. John even began to be freer in his spending, investing in hobbies like biking and golfing. He bought luxuries like boats, televisions, and cable packages. Still, his children felt a tension concerning how to determine appropriate attitudes towards money.

Perhaps his children felt the tension most because John never refused a chance to work overtime. Working overtime was one way John rationalized his more “frivolous” expenditures, and it was a way to better prepare for the future. His children began to resent that John was always working, and they wondered what level of financial security their family had to reach before John would stop feeling as if the money that overtime paid was too important to pass up. They wondered why money was so important if they couldn’t do anything with it.

Now, John’s children have grown up. They share similar values of money they were taught as children. They try to be responsible; they don’t spend extravagantly; they’re beginning to make more concerted efforts to prepare for the future. They have also, however, put the security of their future in perspective. They try not to allow concerns about money inhibit their enjoyment of the present; they have especially tried not to allow money concerns to negatively affect personal relationships.

It seems that John, too, is now trying to make money less of an issue so that his relationships with people might be better. His relationships, however, have changed. He divorced Amy and is now remarried with step-children. He’s making more money than he ever has before and, likely, more money than his adult children will ever make. Although John is not living lavishly, his lifestyle is almost unrecognizable to his children. He has more stuff, he does more things, and he seems more comfortable with his fiscal status.

His children are confused and wonder what really is most important to John. He does things with his new family to have fun with them and show he cares, things like going to college football games and coming home with fountain drinks every time he goes out. He does things he didn’t do with his children under the pretense he was managing his money wisely. His children are confused, and they wonder, “Is he doing this just because he’s better off, or have his attitudes about money changed?”

They certainly seem as if they have. Now John talks openly about how he’s become interested playing poker, gambling online and in the casinos. He talks about going from $1000 over to $600 under as if it’s not a big deal. And his children are left to wonder if John really does have an appropriate understanding of his relationship with money.


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SCRIPTURAL POINTS OF LIGHT

Ecclesiastes 5:10; Matthew 5:25-34, 6:24; Luke 16:13; I Timothy 6:10; Hebrews 13:5