LESSON 5 • Taming the Tongue; Two Kinds of Wisdom
James 3: 3-18

The missionary team consisted of two families who realized a life-long dream by proclaiming Christ in a South American country. Yet interpersonal frictions were beginning to tear the team apart. One man in the team had criticized the wife of the other and tensions had risen. Over the course of a year the team split apart and one family left the mission field. What damage can be caused by a single thoughtless comment! The tongue can and has split churches, derailed ministry efforts, extinguished enthusiasm and caused family estrangement. No wonder James spends so much time talking about the power of the tongue and the difficulty of taming it!

Themes

• Power of the tongue
• Potential of the tongue for good and evil
• Difficulty in taming the tongue
• The connection of tongue and heart
• Contrast of God’s wisdom and earthly wisdom
• Emphasis on converting wisdom to action, especially in peace, mercy, and humility


A. Outline

vv. 3-4 The tongue is small but powerful
vv. 5-8 Potential for harm and evil, difficulty of controlling the tongue
vv. 9-12 Paradoxes. Can the tongue accomplish both good and evil?
vv. 13-14 Putting wisdom into action
vv. 15-18 Contrast of Godly wisdom with earthy wisdom

B. Connection to the book of James

James is written as a practical guide for Christian living, especially focusing on how we proclaim God through our communication and relationships. Nothing conveys more about who we are than how we treat those around us. Earlier in the letter, James offers instructions on the same themes of control of the tongue and embodiment of knowledge. In James 1:26 he warns believers to “keep a tight rein on the tongue,” and in James 2:13 he reminds followers that “mercy triumphs over judgment.” Later chapters in the book expand on dangers of the tongue – boasting, quarreling, slander, cursing, and false oaths.

C. Analysis of passage

The teaching in James on the power of the tongue echoes many other passages throughout scripture on the importance of communication. In Psalms and Proverbs alone there are dozens of passages of advice on controlling the tongue and avoiding lies, dissension, and slander. Typical of these passages are Psalm 34:12-13; “Whoever of you loves life and desires to see many good days, keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies,” and Proverbs 10: 18-21, “He who conceals his hatred has lying lips and whoever speaks slander is a fool. When words are many sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise. The tongue of the righteous is choice silver but the wicked is of little value. The lips of the righteous nourish many but fools die for lack of judgment.” Proverbs 12:13-23 is a virtual guidebook for Christian communication, and Proverbs 15:4 warns, “The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.”

James hints at the power of the tongue to accomplish evil and admonishes his readers of the hypocrisy of issuing praise and curses from the same mouth. Verse 8 warns of the folly of trying to control the tongue, and blatantly states, “ no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.”

What is the Christian to do if it is impossible to control the tongue? The real answer may lie in the relationship of the heart and the tongue. Matthew 12:34 states, “Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.” Matthew 15:18 redefines clean and unclean in terms of the contents of the heart: “The things that come out of the mouth come from the heart and these make a man ‘unclean’.” To work toward Godly and holy communication, we must go beyond controlling our lips to undergoing a “heart transplant.” Paul’s blessing in Romans 15:5-6 is one of the many passages that links the hearts and mouths of believers: “May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.” Psalm 37:30-31 also recognizes that wisdom and justice flow from the lips of one whose heart is filled by the law of God.

Godly wisdom and earthly wisdom

In this letter James seems to write to Christians boasting of their wisdom. He chastises them that real wisdom is displayed by a life of humility, service, and mercy, while worldly wisdom is diplayed by arrogance, boasting, selfishness and dissension. I Corinthians 1 sounds a similar theme of contrasting Godly wisdom with human wisdom. Paul writes, “Where is the wise man? Where is the scholar? Where is the philosopher of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world?” (I Cor 1:20). He later expands the contrast in verses 27-30: “But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things – and the things that are not – to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us the wisdom of God.”

Paul in I Corinthians 2:10-14 indicates that God’s wisdom comes to us through the work of the Holy Spirit who intercedes to help us understand the very mind of God: “The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the man’s spirit within him? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. We have not received the spirit of the world but the Spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us.”

James encourages his readers to put their wisdom into action with good deeds and humility, echoing the same themes of God’s early prophets, Hosea, “I desire mercy, not sacrifice and acknowledgement of God rather than burnt offerings” (Hosea 6:6) and Micah “He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” (Micah 6:8)

It is interesting to contrast the qualities of this “wisdom in action” in James 3:17 with two other passages on Christian living, the fruit of a Spirit-filled life in Galations 5:22 and the embodiment of love in I Corinthians 13. The following table shows the close parallels of all three passages:

James ends with a blessing for those who live such a life: “Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.”(3:18)

Ken Sande in a remarkable book titled, The Peacemaker, (Baker Books, 1997) includes a Peacemaker’s Pledge based on scripture.

“As people reconciled to God by the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, we believe we are called to respond to conflict in a way that is remarkably different from the way the world deals with conflict. We also believe that conflict offers opportunities to glorify God, serve other people, and grow to be like Christ. Therefore in response to God’s love and in reliance on his grace, we commit ourselves to respond to conflict according to the following principles:

Glorify God

Instead of focusing on our own desires or dwelling on what others may do, we will seek to please and honor God—by depending on his wisdom, power, and love; by faithfully obeying his commands, and by seeking to maintain a loving, merciful, and forgiving attitude.

Get the Log Out of Your Own Eye

Instead of attacking others or dwelling on their wrongs, we will take responsibility for our own contribution to conflicts – confessing our sins, asking God to help us change any attitudes and habits that lead to conflict, and seeking to repair any harm we have caused.

Go and Show Your Brother His Fault

Instead of pretending that conflict doesn’t exist or talking about others behind their backs, we will choose to overlook minor offenses or we will talk directly and graciously with those whose offenses seem too serious to overlook. When a conflict with another Christian cannot be resolved in private, we will ask others in the body of Christ to help us settle the matter in a Biblical manner.

Go and Be Reconciled

Instead of accepting premature compromise or allowing relationships to wither, we will actively pursue genuine peace and reconciliation – forgiving others as God, for Christ’s sake, has forgiven us, and seeking just and mutually beneficial solutions to our differences.

By God’s grace we will apply these principles as a matter of stewardship, realizing that conflict is an assignment, not an accident. We will remember that success, in God’s eyes, is not a matter of specific results, but of faithful, dependent obedience. And we will pray that our service as peacemakers brings praise to our Lord and leads others to know His infinite love.” (Sande, The Peacemaker, pp. 235-237).

Discussion 

1. Share a time when an off-hand remark by another caused you pain or discouraged you, or when you may have done this to another. What were the results?

2. What are positive things God expects us to do with our tongues?

Praise, encourage, bless . . . 

3. What negative harm can come from our tongues?

Lies, criticism, boasting . . . 

4. Why is changing our heart necessary to control our tongue? How does this happen?

5. What is the biggest difference between “wisdom from God” and earthly wisdom?

6. How can we become peacemakers, “sowing in peace”? What was most convicting to you in “The Peacemaker’s Pledge”?









Angi Brenton has been a member of Pleasant Valley for thirteen years. She is married to Keith Brenton and has two children, Matthew, 11 and Laura, 8. She is Dean of the College of Professional Studies at UALR, overseeing eight departments. She has a Ph.D. in Communication and specializes in teaching classes in conflict management. She currently teaches for UALR, Abilene Christian University, and the School of Law at Pepperdine University.