Lesson 6 — Instruction On Christian Marriage

I Corinthians 7:1 - 40


Introduction

In a culture with moral depravity and sin-inducing pressure, Paul gave strong encouragement to the Corinthians about temptation: run from anything that you think is wrong, chose what is right, pray for God’s help, and seek friends who love God and can help when you are tempted. The Corinthian church was in turmoil because immorality was all around them. In rejecting immorality, some Greeks rejected sex and marriage altogether, causing some Christians to wonder if they should also. They wrote to Paul and raised several questions: If sex is perverted, shouldn’t we also abstain from marriage? If my spouse is unsaved, should I seek a divorce? Should unmarried people and widows remain unmarried? 

It should come as no surprise that he plunges right into a very explicit discussion related to marriage and the single life. The first half of this chapter deals with issues involving those married (vv. 1-24) and the last half speaks to issues of those who are single (vv. 25-40). 

Outline 

I. Instructions for the Married (vv. 1-24)

a. In General (vv. 1-9)
i. It is good to marry to avoid sexual immorality 
(vv. 1-2)
ii. Proper attitude to govern the marriage relationship (vv. 3-4) 
iii. Abstinence appropriate for short times devoted to prayer (vv. 5-6)
iv. Living the single life with self-control is a gift from God, so unmarried and widows should marry if they cannot exercise self-control (vv. 7-9)

b. In Regards to Divorce (vv. 10-16)
i. As commanded by the Lord (vv. 10-11)
1. A wife is not to depart from her husband, if she does, let her remain unmarried or else be reconciled (vv. 10-11a)
2. A husband is not to divorce his wife (v. 11b)
ii. As instructed by Paul (vv. 12-16)
1. Christians are not to divorce their unbelieving spouses (vv. 12-13)
2. The “sanctifying influence” the believer can have on the family (v. 14)
3. If the unbeliever departs, the believer is not under bondage, so let the unbeliever depart 
(v. 15)
4. These instructions are given in view of the possibility of the believer being able to save the unbelieving spouse (v. 16)
c. Principles Governing Paul’s Instructions (vv. 17-24)
i. As the Lord has called each one, so let him walk 
(v. 17)
ii. The example of circumcision versus un-circumcision - keeping the commandments of God is what is important (vv. 18-20)
iii. The example of being a slave versus being free, where one might improve their condition if it is possible and profitable (vv. 19-24)

II. Instructions Concerning Those Single (vv. 25-40)

a. For those who are virgins (vv. 25-38)
i. Paul gives his personal judgment in light of the “present distress” – remain as you are (vv. 25-26)
ii. If you are married, remain so; but those who are single would be spared much trouble in the flesh in light of what is to come (vv. 27-31)
iii. Remaining unmarried enables one to serve the Lord without distraction and be totally devoted to Him (vv. 32-35)
iv. If it is necessary, the single may marry (v. 36)
v. The choice is not between good and bad, but between good and better (vv. 37-38)

b. For those who are widows (vv. 39-40)
i. A widow is free to marry, but “only in the Lord” 
(v. 39)
ii. Paul felt a woman would be happier if she stays single and he felt the affirmation of the Spirit of God in this position (v. 40) 

Textual Review

Instructions for the Married (vv. 1-24)
Apparently some of the Corinthian Christians had sent Paul some questions soliciting his response. One of their burning questions seemed to be: “In view of the sexual temptations we face in Corinth, might it be better to take a vow of celibacy, to renounce marriage for life, and to withdraw from all contact with the opposite sex?” Like ours, they were living in a sexually oriented society. Since sexual drives create so many problems, some were considering the possibility of committing to a life of celibacy. 

Here the apostle is saying three things about sexual relations within a marriage: (1) Sex in marriage does permit relief from sexual pressures; (2) Sex is a gift from God and is given to us for mutual pleasure of both parties. Within the marriage bond, sex is designed to be a pleasure which a married couple experiences frequently, as frequently as they mutually desire, and to whatever degree it may be desired. 

Sex in marriage is designed for the fulfillment of each partner. This is what the Song of Solomon so beautifully captures. One of the major problems in marriages is that one partner (usually the man) demands his sexual rights from his wife. Nothing is more destructive to marital happiness. As always, the Scriptures call for us to examine ourselves at the deepest level of our being and here Paul puts his finger on what is one of the most frequent causes for disaster in marriage – a unilateral refusal to grant the gift of enjoyment and pleasure to one’s mate. Paul’s instruction is not to do such with one possible exception – if you both agree to do so and if you do so for a temporary spiritual retreat for prayer.

Paul includes in this section a statement that “marriage is not for all.” To live a life of singleness reflects another beauty of God. It permits a quality of dedication to a single goal that is often highly admired by everyone around. If a person cannot control his sexual desires, it is better for him to marry than to “burn with passion.” 

Divorce was rather rare in the Jewish community, but in these great Greek cities such as Corinth and Athens, divorce was a frequent thing. Paul understood the pressures behind the breakup of marriages; he was familiar with the acceptance of divorce by the world around; and the temptations this creates to Christians to take what looks like an easy way out of an unhappy or difficult marriage. 

He begins in verses 10-11 with a word about marriage in general: To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.

Here the apostle begins with the fundamental position of Scripture on marriage, and that is that marriage is intended to be for life. God's intention for marriage was that a man and a woman should live together, "for better or for worse, until death shall us part." God has made very clear both in the New and the Old Testaments what he thinks of divorce. In the Book of Malachi, God states bluntly, "I hate divorce," (Mal 2:16). God did not intend divorce to interrupt marriages (Mt. 19:1-9; Mk. 10:1-12). 

Paul goes further in this section (vv. 12-16) and states his personal convictions about “mixed marriages” - marriages in which one partner is a Christian and the other is not (in the case of marriages in Corinth, the unbeliever spouses were probably pagan and associated with idol worship). In 6:15, Paul had stated "your bodies are members of Christ" and how wrong it was to take the members of Christ and involve with the temple prostitutes of Corinth. That was a defiling act, and perhaps many had inferred that any kind of sexual union with an unbeliever was a defiling act.

Instead of defiling, it is the other way around; it is the believing mate that, in a sense, sanctifies the unbeliever." Now that does not mean, "saves them" or "regenerates them." That is always an individual matter left up to the individual faith. What it means is no defilement is involved when sexual union occurs in such a marriage, but rather it sets the unbeliever apart for a special treatment by the Lord due to the strong exposure to a loving witness that is very difficult for him or her to resist, and it may very well ultimately lead that unbelieving mate to the Lord. Read 1 Pet. 3:1-6. 

On the other hand, if constant antagonism exists between two married people of different faiths resulting in a constant chafing of one or the other in the marriage, this is not good. If the unbeliever takes the initiative and chooses to leave, then Paul’s instruction to the believing spouse is to let him go. Some have been taught to hang onto the marriage at all costs - - “do not let him or her go because there is still the possibility that you might reach through and he or she will be saved.” But taken in its proper context, verse 16 is teaching "Let her/him depart," and it is an argument in support of it. What the apostle is saying is, "Do not try to force him or her into regeneration. You cannot know that you are going to save him or her if he or she stays in the marriage. You cannot know that he or she is going to believe if you hold onto him or her legally, regardless of his or her desire to leave." So his argument is: God has called us to peace rather than continual bickering and quarreling in this area, and in this particular case of a mixed marriage if the unbeliever desires to depart, let him or her depart. 

Paul in verses 17-24 outlines some principles that teach us how to handle conditions that are difficult, in marriage or any other realm of life. God has assigned you a place in life. God has worked through your choices, not to control you so that you had to do something, but to allow you free choice and yet work it out. Therefore, you are where God wants you to be. "Do not fight it," Paul says. "Stay in the place where God has assigned you; he has called you there." Called you to what? “…into fellowship with his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord” (1 Cor. 1:9). 

“Was a man already circumcised when he was called? He should not become uncircumcised” (7:18)That is what some of them felt they had to do. In James Michener's book, The Source, he tells about a young man who was a Jew and who wanted to become like the Greeks, so he went through a painful surgical operation to remove the marks of circumcision. This was common in the Greek games where the athletes competed naked. Paul says you do not have to remove those marks. 

Bodily marks that indicate a former commitment you made are insignificant; they do not have to be removed. I have heard of Christian men who are embarrassed to take their shirts off in public because they are tattooed. They probably had it done when they were young, in the Navy, and drunk! Now they see how foolish it was and they wish they could get rid of it. Paul says that is neither here nor there. Circumcision, un-circumcision, tattooed, un-tattooed -- it does not make any difference. The key to your life is not your outward looks, but what is going on in your heart, between you and the Lord, and the relationship you have to him. 

To then go further, Paul uses the common problem of slavery in that day, and yet what he says is interesting. Basically, what he says is, "To be a slave or to be free is not the overriding consideration of life: it is what you are inside that counts." In the novel Roots, and in the television portrayal of that book, it was very evident that some of the slaves who were believers in Christ were much more noble, more loving, more compassionate, more understanding, and demonstrated more integrity than their "free" masters. This whole passage calls us to the fact that “in Christ,” there is true freedom. 

In closing these thoughts (v. 24), Paul’s general advice is to be content in whatever situation you find yourself. Regardless of what your situation may be, even it you cannot change it, even if it is a so-called "difficult" marriage, remember that God is able to meet you right where you are and to fill your life with love and joy and peace despite the struggles. The struggles themselves will help you if you understand them as God's choice for you.

Instructions Concerning Those Single (vv. 25-40) 

Considering the distress of the times, Paul felt the unmarried state was best. Specifically he was speaking to “virgins” (this designation probably referred to those females who were engaged, or thinking of becoming engaged, but were experiencing pressure from some in the church to forego marriage). 

Here are some reasons Paul gives for remaining single: (1) We should be ready to make sacrifices now in view of the possibility of greater reward later (v. 29; 3:14); (2) Those who weep should remember that present sorrow is comparatively short (vv. 29-31; Lk. 6:21); (3) Earthly life as we know it is only temporary and is passing away.

Paul wanted his readers to be free from concerns about this present life so their devotion to the Lord would be consistent (v. 32, 35; Mt. 6:25-34; Phil. 4:11; 1 Pet. 5:7). If you were to compare two equally committed Christians, an unmarried man can give more concentrated attention to the things of the Lord (vv. 32-34). 

“A widow is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord” (v. 39) Paul felt a woman would be happier if she stays single and he felt the affirmation of the Spirit of God in this position. 

Discussion Questions 

1. What are the main points you take from this chapter?
2. What are some specific instructions Paul gives to married couples? 
3. What advice does he give to unmarried or widows?
4. What does he tell Christians married to unbelievers?
5. What underlying principles are governing Paul’s instructions in this chapter?
6. What restriction does Paul place on widows who desire to remarry? Why this restriction?

Conclusion 

Paul masterfully weaves three of his common themes through this chapter: love for God, discipline for self, and a mutual respect for one another. In a marriage relationship, this constitutes two lives learning to unite in the Lord. That is probably the most beautiful thing God produces on this earth. It surpasses everything else. If you have ever seen an older, married couple who have been in love for years and have learned how to relate in happiness, peace, and joy with one another, you know something of the quiet beauty that God intended for each marriage. 

References 
Life Application Bible
Chafin, Kenneth L. The Communicator’s Commentary: 1 & 2 Corinthians
Copeland, Mark A. The First Epistle to the Corinthians 
Stedman, Ray C. Studies in 1 Corinthians. Palo Alto, CA: Discovery Publishing, 1995.

-Bonnie Cone





(Bonnie Cone is a member at Pleasant Valley. Her husband, James, served as a deacon beginning at Pulaski Heights and later served as an elder here at Pleasant Valley for almost 30 years until his death in 2001. She has three children all who faithfully serve here at Pleasant Valley: Annette, who is married to Phil Herrington; Jimmy, who is married to Andee; and Maria, who is married to Paul Henry. She also has five grandchildren.)