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7 - Bob and Karen: Accountability |
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Bob and Karen have been married for three years. They started dating during their Junior year in college. They had a rapidly growing fascination with each other in spite of some noticeable differences. She had been on the Dean's List every semester she was in college and was on track to graduate Magna Cum Laude. She carefully spent the money she had saved from her summer jobs and always had money left in her checking account each month, (for which she used Quicken to track and reconcile).
Bob was the consummate "under achiever." While he had always scored high on I.Q. tests and his college entrance exams, his grades never seemed to reflect that potential. He was far more interested in intramural sports and hanging out with his friends. He never seemed to have any money, even though his parents were extremely generous with his allowance.
They got married a few months after graduation, since they both found jobs in the same city. While they share a number of values, in many respects, Bob and Karen are polar opposites: She's meticulous; he's messy. She's detail-oriented; he's big-picture oriented. She's deliberate; he's impulsive. She balances her checkbook to the penny; he has no clue how much is in his account. She researches purchase decisions carefully, buying
the right product at the best price; he buys all the newest "toys"
on a whim.
Early in the marriage they had tried to use a joint checking account. That had been a total disaster! It was constantly overdrawn because of Bob's ATM withdrawals and CheckCard payments. After four or five months of trying everything else, they went to two joint accounts: one that was "his" and
one that was "hers." They determined which bills were best paid out of each so that there was "fairness" in their process. That has seemed to work fairly well since Bob's bills come out shortly after he gets his paycheck and even though he still runs out of money, he hates getting overdraft notices so he just quits spending money when his account runs out of money.
About six months ago this "running out of money" started getting old to Bob. He had been getting tons of credit card offers and thought that would be a great way to solve his problem. He knew that Karen wouldn't want to add debt so he made application, using his office address instead of his home address.
It was great! It seemed to solve his problem. Yet in a period of just six months he had maxed out his $2,000 card limit and wasn’t sure where it all went. He had missed a couple of payments, so his interest rate had gone from 7.9% to 19.8%.
Karen is ready to start a family and wants to buy a house. She’s been saving every penny she can for a down payment. She uses an American Express card to pay her business expenses, but pays it off each month. They completed the paper work two weeks ago to learn what size mortgage they "pre-qualify" so they can start looking for a house.
For the past few days Karen has been feeling strange. She's been feeling lethargic and queasy in the mornings. The thought just hit her yesterday, "I might be pregnant!" A home pregnancy test confirmed it last night. Then, when she got home this afternoon, the letter from the mortgage company arrived, showing Bob's "secret" credit card balance and the fact that it had been "slow" for the past four months.
When Bob gets home, late as usual, Karen is livid. She feels betrayed; she feels frustrated; she feels trapped. She is hurt; she is scared; she is angry. Bob, on the other hand, doesn’t see the big problem; after all, she's supposed to "submit" to him – not the other way around!
SCRIPTURAL POINTS OF LIGHT
Genesis 2:20-24; Proverbs 13:18; Luke 14:28-30; Luke 16:10-13; Ephesians 5:21-33; 1 Peter 3:1-7
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