On a Saturday night in Tokyo’s Asakusa district, a woman in a floral kimono and a man in a boxy dark suit silently waited side by side. First, one black rickshaw pulled up to them. Moments later, another cart arrived. With a small nod to each other, the couple moved to board their separate chariots en route to the night’s main event: their divorce ceremony.
~ Paige Ferrari, The New York Times Magazine
A divorce ceremony? Yes, Apparently this new, niche ceremony for commemorating failed marriages in Japan is becoming quite popular. Hiroki Terai, Tokyo’s pioneering divorce planner, explains the origin of his business: “Ever since I was little I wondered, if you have a wedding ceremony, why not have one to mark your divorce?” Improbable as it may sound, Terai is receiving 200 inquiries a month concerning such ceremonies.
Terai accounts for this surge of interest by pointing to the influence of the devastating earthquake and tsunami Japan suffered in March. This cataclysm caused many couples to “reassess their priorities,” which apparently includes moving on from unhappy marriages to something else.
One ceremony featured a bullet-pointed explanation of why the couple’s relationship unraveled, information Terai had gathered from separate interviews with them. Among the reasons were:
Over the course of their marriage, the couple’s lifestyles began to diverge.
They had different values, especially when a number of the husband’s hidden debts surfaced.
They did not share the same hobbies.
Terai then invited both parties to make a statement. The husband admitted that he was skeptical about the ceremony but said, “I see it’s a way to mark a new life.” The wife
expressed her hope that today represented a break from the past. A large hammer was then brought out; both parties held it together and pounded down on the wife’s wedding band. The misshapen ring was then thrown into the river. It was over.
We need a ceremony for this?
One of the most poignant observations Terai shares is that these ceremonies sometimes include slide shows of the marriage. After seeing pictures that bring to mind shared experiences and happy times, it is not unheard of for divorcing couples to reconcile.
How about that?
In every marriage there are going to be struggles, difficulties, and times that try men’s and women’s souls. All of us could make up a list of bullet points of things we don’t like about our spouse. Everyone can imagine how the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.
Except that is usually isn’t.
“May you rejoice in the wife of your youth” (Prov. 5:18).
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